Category Archives: Personal Stories

Early Autumn and I’m afraid to admit that I worry about how we will do this.
The three of us have something of a history together & we’ve become a petite little unit of our own.
The task of being one in a more permanent sense makes the girl inside of me whimper.
Thankfully, there isn’t a lot of time for that.

Hungry boys.

Tired me.

Miles of monotonous driving each day.

Homework.

Emotions to soothe.

Energy to release.

Focus.

Neverending chatter.

They demand my complete attention.

I don’t know if there is enough of me to divide myself & give them slices that will satisfy.

As I’m preparing a delicious epicurean dinner,
{boiling a box of noodles & heating a jar of spaghetti sauce},
all of the pressure I’m under is making it hard to focus.
Steam kisses my face. Boiling water lifts my spirit.
I know the power of a timely meal.
These exhausted pots & pans, we are old friends.
They know my secrets & keep them in confidence.
When I stand at my stove, I am in good company.
Stirring noodles into golden halos…

<<< LIGHTS GO OUT >>>

I stop breathing for a moment.

Not now.

Not tonight.

It’s not a good time to deal with a power outage!

I don’t have the energy for this nuisance.

Just as I am melting into submission to accept the fate of a dark night-

<<< Laughter >>>

The mischievous cackle of a familiar two year old breaks the silence.
Damian Achilles.
My little, wonderful, monster was the culprit.

The light comes back on.

I breathe again.
I don’t know if I’ve ever been so euphoric to see those darn fluorescent lamps illuminate with their muddy yellow haze.
Little hands little feet little mind working in sync while Mama is preoccupied.
He was proudly standing on a chair flipping the forgotten switch from the other side of the kitchen.
The three of us laugh endlessly as he flickers the lights on & off in a reprisal of his newfound trick.
Deep giggles that send us spinning in a dance and wet my eyes from the sheer ecstasy of relief.

That laughter, that night, in that old kitchen,
has been sound of courage.
We composed something I was afraid couldn’t exist.
The echoes of our revelry nudge me through a drowsy winter that makes me ache to see over the grey.
We thrive and there is a psalm of laughter we have penned to prove it.

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“Nobody whom this war has touched will ever be happy again in quite the same way. But it will be a better happiness, I think, little sister–a happiness we’ve earned. We were very happy before the war, weren’t we? With a home like Ingleside, and a father and mother like ours we couldn’t help being happy. But that happiness was a gift from life and love; it wasn’t really ours–life could take it back at any time. It can never take away the happiness we win for ourselves in the way of duty. I’ve realised that since I went into khaki. In spite of my occasional funks, when I fall to living over things beforehand, I’ve been happy since that night in May. Rilla, be awfully good to mother while I’m away. It must be a horrible thing to be a mother in this war–the mothers and sisters and wives and sweethearts have the hardest times.”

Walter Blythe to Rilla Blythe in L.M. Montgomery’s Rilla of Ingleside

I have always loved Anne of Green Gables, so this summer I read the whole series. Although I enjoyed all the books, I’m obsessed with Rilla of Ingleside. I have read it twice and started it again. I do really hope someone makes this movie & does it beautiful justice {in the art direction of Downton Abbey}. I think L.M. Montgomery was a brilliant observer & the characters she molded are amusing.
I think she & I would be friends. Maybe in another life. ♥

 

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 Self Portraits iPhone 4 New Year’s Day | All Others Nikon D800

 

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  • Jaclyn - February 10, 2013 - 1:13 pm

    🙂 In response to your comment from our other post…

    You’re very welcome!!! Although our world is CONSTANTLY full of distractions, I admire you taking time to have a “normal” dinner in the midst of life and all it throws at us daily. Your sweet boys will always remember those moments (and you will too)…

    And I will have to find this “Rilla of Ingelside” that you speak of…;) Thank you for jogging my memory – I now remember finding that there were additional books after the 4-6 series back in the fall and was going to buy the 7-9 and they didn’t have all three, so I didn’t buy any. I will not have to venture to my favorite place soon and find that…:) Not too much longer and we’ll be back to warmer temps and SUN!!! I wish it would hurry!!!!!

  • Kara - February 10, 2013 - 5:06 pm

    “Is it Rilla my Rilla? “Yeth”….
    I would haft to say this book in the series is one of the best.
    Walter…sweet Walter…
    Thinking of you as Hold your fort down day after day…
    (Your kitchen looks lovely in your photos & your cooking…)
    Thanks for sharing your words & snippets of your life…
    Xo
    Kara

  • Andrea - February 13, 2013 - 1:22 pm

    Kara, I love that sentence! Thanks for your words about my kitchen! It’s grown on me, but I still dream of a fresh coat of paint & a new floor! 🙂

  • Andrea - February 13, 2013 - 1:24 pm

    Jaclyn, I read them on my phone/iPad and most of them are free! I love finding classic books to read! And I agree, the sun can come and stay as soon as possible! Some warmer weather would be a treat!

I’ve finally given up on the notion that I need more hours in day.
My history is brimming with accounts of the rise and fall of working late into night.
Always hoping to maximize my time by somehow extinguishing every bit of energy.
Always ending in a heap of frustration & fatigue.

Managing time is obscure when you work from home & dreams begin as indistinguishable blocks of mud.
And {military} life & children create additional components to the conundrum of getting one chance to create a life.
They don’t make ambitions futile, just the going about them & timing different.
Realizing that they are part of my dream,
is part of unraveling the riddle of how this will all take shape.

They say it’s in the silence that you shape the clay.

For me, stepping away from the hum of social media has been liberating.
Had to admit a need to focus on my weaknesses & redefine my attitude.
I’m shy to even voice my attempts to acknowledge this work in progress,
careful not to speak too soon.
Lest my current enlightenment give way to another dose of “teaching.”
On my blog I’m opening the veil to uncover this living memoir,
the process of etching a dream.

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You might notice a fresh look here.
For a year I’ve been going round and round about my “brand” and what to add.
Instead, stripping down & using my handwriting feels like home. ♥

Images iPhone 4 & edited in Afterglow App

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I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever be a good blogger.
Not for lack of content or words, but in practice & discipline.

Fingers crossed I’ll try.
That is, try to collect myself & make it easier to combine letters with pixels.

I’ve been shooting a lot more with my phone.
It’s interesting how it challenges me to take the very simple elements of photography to a more inspired format.
The limitations become stepping stones to achieving in-camera satisfaction.

Light & composition are vital, as they ought to be.
I feel less pressure & travel lighter.
As you’ve seen through the last sporadic posts, I’ll probably use it a lot more to keep up with non-commissioned work.
I can’t tell you how many DIYs, recipes, or moments with my kids will be trapped on hard drives that will never be shared publicly.
Not because I can’t access them, but because after I shoot & edit tens of thousands of pictures,
I am completely unmotivated to touch my own.

Here is a little treat I’ve been enjoying this week.

It’s so nice when you stumble across a recipe & realize you can make it with what you have on hand.
Even if you must sub a few things here & there.

Strawberry Banana Smoothie with Coconut Milk brought to you by my iPhone 4 & Afterglow App.

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I love love love Instagram & saw this recipe from @KaraGarber’s feed, {you can also find her blogging at B. H. Storm & Co. }.
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I just caught up on Season Two of Downton Abbey & since I watched it in one week, I feel lost without more episodes.
I also have a tendency to hear myself think in a pathetic mimic of a British Accent.
Someone please tell me this is a normal side effect.

I hope it’s not too early to start seeing hearts for Valentine’s Day. I’m not opposed. ♥

Find me on Instagram by @AndreaDozier, or online at http://instagram.com/andreadozier

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  • alli - January 18, 2013 - 11:26 am

    Love the new look!

    After watching Downton, I always find myself transported to their world at random moments of the day. : )

  • Jaclyn - January 19, 2013 - 8:56 pm

    I’ve always thought you were a very talented blog writer. I really admired your blogs back in the myspace/facebook days…it challenged me as an english major – especially since I always felt you were a much better writer than me and all I had was a piece of paper to show for it…LOL

    I miss those days…but I would never trade living a [real] life outside of social media and finding all that life has to offer. But that’s just me…;-)

  • Andrea - February 9, 2013 - 1:42 pm

    Thank you Alli! I am getting sad that this season is almost over!

    Jaclyn, wow, thank you. I feel really honored for you to say that! Writing has always been a very big part of me but I definitely wish I made more time for it! I think making everything quieter has been so healthy. I’m glad that we at least had a childhood without all the distractions!

It’s funny how common a new year is beginning to feel to me, yet I always want to clean up, wear my prettiest dress, & greet it with my best foot forward.

I don’t have any fancy resolutions or new fangled journals to kick off this year, just the same old desire to work hard & try to better myself.
A few little goals to keep me inspired & busy this winter are tucked in my pocket.
Even though I often laugh at the absurdity of making die-hard declarations each sparkling new year,
I must admit it’s a nice tradition to reflect & dream the way we do.
To ponder the narrative of the past & greet the mystery of tomorrow with a touch of innocence & a great deal of hope.

With a view of sunshine melting a thin pearly blanket of snow, warm coffee in hand, I’m ready for you 2013.

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Images via iPhone 4 & edited in Afterglow App

I’m falling for this little house, even if I must cleanse & paint every little corner. ♥

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Another October has swept through and gone, but we are still relishing in all the sweet magic of a belated pumpkin carving party & trick or treat coming up tomorrow.
Damian has me swooning over those big green ears, we’ve gotten good use out of that little Yoda costume already! ♥

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