Write your hurts in the sand, carve your blessings in stone

I’m sure that if you’ve followed this little blog you might have wandered why I stopped posting for a while, and I wanted to share a little bit about that.

There was a large chunk of goodness given to me in 2011.
I met some amazing people, captured beautiful moments, & was very honored to be published in some of the blogs & magazines I have respected & followed for years. I have always believed in our ability as humans to achieve whatever we want when we work hard enough, and I did that.

They aren’t kidding when they say “success comes with a price.” Especially when you have so much to lose if you aren’t careful.

During the second half of last year, I had to come to terms with “that very high price,” and whether I was prepared to keep paying it. I felt the only choice was to slow down & make a turn. Find a better path to the same destination. They say that in order to move forward you shouldn’t look back. I disagree. I think if you going to change direction, you should be encouraged to look both ways before proceeding. Weigh all sides very carefully. At some point I’ll be ready to reflect & share about where I’ve been & how I’ve come to where I am now, but I’m still getting my sea legs & adapting to the new {healthier} habits. The bottom line is that I’m working on staggering my schedule more efficiently and taking much better care of myself & my family.

It’s not very easy to admit that I’ve been going through a difficult time, but this blog has always been so personal {here & here} & if it’s my legacy to the world… I may as well be honest. Even though you’d have been hard pressed to convince me otherwise a few months ago, I’m realizing it wasn’t all bad. I just copied 2,200 pictures & videos {six months’ worth} from my iPhone to my computer and I viewed each one to see so much evidence of my “blessings.” I’m so glad I have all those random, blurry, giggle filled, relaxed moments to cherish. For some reason I’m always afraid of being too optimistic, too upbeat, or God forbid, pretending that anything is better than it really is. I’m slowly learning that I can have an emotionally heart wrenching day, but still find amazing delight in the smallest luxuries…

Fluffy new bath towels.
Husky morning laughs from Damian.
Robin’s egg blue winter skies.
Surprise {homemade} chocolate gelato from my sister.
A little text from someone who cares in a big way.
Listening to Kevin read…

It’s completely possible to have a thankful heart while dealing with the mess of a broken heart.

It’s ok to acknowledge that the struggles & the pain are here… even the Stress that seems to have set up indefinite camp beside my desk. {He even uses my bathroom & I don’t think he washes his hands. He’s got some nerve}. Understanding how thankfulness trumps depression has been the beginning of the difference in me. Instead of putting my painful thoughts on a pedestal, I privately journal them {as recommended by a good friend}. I release them onto paper so that I can clear space in my mind for better thoughts. Although I like to think I’m an artist, I’m not much of a sculptor. Never really got the feel for a chisel & the movements it takes to cut stone into something beautiful, or even legible. {Ok, so I’ve never even tried}. I am fluent in the language of photography. It’s my way of giving myself {and hundreds of others} glimpses into something we’ve experienced that we will never get back. Lately I’ve been ordering more prints for my family & I have realized that I am probably the person who needs the photographs I take the most. They are such good reminders of why my life is bursting to the seams with incredible moments.
My pictures can be remembered for generations, while I let the heartache of the moment be washed away in the evening tide. ♥

I designed this poster with the help of a {free Photoshop} brush set I found on Pinterest by Besotted Brand.
You can read someone’s take of the story behind this quote here {not sure if it’s the original source}.

What I want to remember in stone {from my iPhone}:

Thank you, always, for being supportive & encouraging. In my imperfections, I hope I can encourage someone else.
I think life is so much more splendid when we feel like we aren’t traveling alone.

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  • Mary - January 19, 2012 - 6:04 am

    Very nice……

  • Jaclyn - January 19, 2012 - 9:28 am

    I’ve been sitting here forever trying to figure out what exactly to write. These past few months have been the hardest time of my life (to an extent), and yet, they’ve also been some of the best moments up until now. Sometimes our dreams and plans burn so deep in us and when we finally start tasting of them and eventually checking them off our “list”, we realize that they definitely weren’t all we thought they would be, or like you said, “came with a price.” Burn out and misalignment of priorities happens…you’ve seen it in me and after 6 jobs in 5.5 years, I finally said, “enough is enough!” So in this season, if it means I don’t work for a few more months, or I work a little here and there on random jobs, that’s what I’m going to do. I can’t, and more importantly, I WON’T keep going from job to job in hopes that it will come together. So, to be honest, I stepped off the rollercoaster of what others wanted me to be (and even what I wanted to be) and I’m learning daily to let God be God – something I remember you telling me in the myspace days…;) He has big plans for us, and he has definitely given you beautiful gifts! Anyways, sorry to write a novel on here…LOL You know how to reach me – schedule is still pretty mellow at times – when you need an afternoon out or some coffee, just text/e-mail/call or whatever. I really want to go to Ikea someday, so maybe we could be super adventurous? 😉 Have a wonderful week! I’ve been praying for you these past few months and now I know why…I know God has me right where He wants me and His plans are always meant to prosper us! ♥

  • Sheila - January 19, 2012 - 2:07 pm

    It sounds like you are in a good place right now. We are all a work in progress and on this journey, you can’t go wrong with a thankful heart in any situation. Life is full of both positive and negative. It’s up to us to control the perspective of how we are going to let it shape us and our outlook on our lives. Holding onto the negative eventually makes us into toxic people if we can’t let go, but hard as it can be to let go, in letting go we find freedom. In that freedom we find beauty that otherwise would have been overlooked. I look forward to seeing more of the beauty that you share with us from behind the lens of your camera as well as the thoughtful words and deeds you share. Love ya sis!

  • Abby - January 22, 2012 - 1:27 pm

    i love you …..

  • Andrea - February 1, 2012 - 10:12 am

    Thanks Abby, right back at you!!!

    Thanks for your support & love, I really had a hard time sharing this one but it’s all part of life I guess. No path is ever “perfect,” but definitely worth traveling 😀

    Love you!!

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