Faking it.

With a title like that, you probably expect me to go into detail about how I try to be a certain way but want to come clean & just be myself.

No.

This is all about the deep importance of faking it.

* Image via http://keep-calm-and.tumblr.com/

If you’ve been keeping up with my sporadic posts about my house, it is an ever challenging work in progress. It has definitely come a long way from when we moved in. I have to admit, despite it’s small size, it feels more like “home” than any other place we’ve lived together. I’m sure that has everything to do with my (sexy) DIY husband that has transformed most of it from tired & outdated to fresh & cozy. It was originally built in the 40’s to be a vacation house near the river & it’s definitely a charming little cottage. However, that explains the tiny rooms & non existent closet space. It was just meant for weekend visits, not a family of four.

This week I have been staying with my parents in Findlay while my husband has been tearing out the bathroom. He has cleared everything out, the tile walls, floor, & today he removed the bathtub. While I’m really excited about having a new bathroom, it’s been a challenge to not be able to work and spend another week away from him (this is week three out of the last four that we’ve been apart because he’s been traveling for work too). I am missing my  best friend! I am also quite obsessive about my work routine & it’s hard for me to “take the week off.” I worked some major overtime last week to prepare for this week, but there is always more to do.

After being an Air Force wife for six years, I would like to think I’ve got the single parent thing down pretty well. I’ve had a lot of practice. However, today my sons were especially a handful. It was one of those days where I could have stayed in my  pajamas & had a few extra Easter chocolates to escape the never ending demands of two active children.

Instead, I found myself forcing a shower.

Forcing a calico summer dress when I wanted to wear sweat pants.

Forcing contacts over glasses.

Forcing a walk around the neighborhood over a nap.

By the end of the evening, I was rewarded with a very sweet call from an encouraging husband & two worn out little “mans.”

I’d like to think everything I do is genuine, that I am just a pool of ambition & energy.
It just doesn’t happen like that.
Sometimes I just pretend I am the person I don’t think I can be.
After a little while, what started as pretending becomes skin & bones.
Smiles & laughter.
When we are in a haze, the best way to get out is to force ourselves to do exactly what we don’t feel like doing.

♥