40 Weeks and Counting…

I have about nine minutes left of my due date. Looks like he’ll be a little late.

All day I’ve been a little on edge, very distracted. I have been constantly asking myself why I am so disappointed that this little man hasn’t arrived yet. I should know from experience that it will be soon enough. Still, I find myself restless. Anxious. Grumpy. Impatient. READY.

Earlier this evening I was in the kitchen prepping eggplant parmesan for dinner and I happened to look up and saw Rock & Kevin in the backyard rearranging flowers. Something about seeing them together so content in the golden evening light instantly assured me that I have everything to be thankful for. Every time I see a beautiful moment between them, I just feel gratitude because it wasn’t “supposed” to happen. I ask myself why I have the audacity to say that this baby is “supposed” to be here, when really… there are aspects of our life that I can not take control of or credit for. Even if I wanted to.

All at once I felt relief and peace that I need to quit trying to micromanage fate.

It’s amazing what that little scene has done for my attitude, I hope that I can continue to be patient. Since there is very little time left in my pregnancy, I have been trying to reflect on some of the more positive aspects of the experience. Here are my top ten:

10. The excuse to eat what I want, when I want. Oh how I will miss this…

9. All the random smiles and well wishes from strangers {that mostly came before I started scaring people with my hugeness}.

8. The Expectant Mother parking space at the commissary & hospital {especially finding them open during a busy day}.

7. The nurses at my perinatal appointments, they’ve been really kind.

6. My weekly update about the baby inside me. It’s an e-mail I always look forward to.

5. Shopping for baby. I know I can shop after he’s born, but it’s so fun to imagine what he’ll look like. Part of the fun is just not knowing for sure & daydreaming about him while we’re out. Plus, newborn clothes are so tiny compared to the 5Ts that Kevin wears!

4. Blaming everything on pregnancy hormones.

3. Listening to Kevin talk about his baby “brudder.” Soon he’ll start calling him by name or he’ll figure out how to say “brother” properly, but I love hearing his reaction to this process. He has toys and books set aside that he can’t wait to show the baby.

2. The baby kicking my camera when it’s around my neck. I felt like I had this little friend with me at weddings & shoots before some people knew I was pregnant. I didn’t carry a camera around my neck when I was pregnant with Kevin, so it was something unique to this little man. I will miss his movements, it’s just an amazing part of pregnancy!

1. Shaved Ice. I can’t say I really craved anything the first pregnancy. This time {among many other things}, I’m obsessed with ice! I bought this little manual snow cone maker from Target and I just wish I had done it sooner! Seriously. If it is always summer in Heaven, then I am convinced God will provide endless snow cones. All of my beautiful pregnant friends- this is definitely the perfect accessory for your kitchen this summer! I love them plain, something about the melt in your mouth texture is the perfect cool down fix. Occasionally I add Cotton Candy flavored syrup and it reminds me of pooling together enough change to walk up to the Sno Shak when we were kids. Speaking of, if you have kids, they will LOVE you for having one. ♥